2008 Hair Day Experience

So I finally did it.... I finally got Hair extensions... 18 of" lovely long locks of hair... After months of deciding if I would like it... I broke down and did it... woot me ...I have someone else’s hair now mingled with mine, a bit creepy, But makes me wonder if I can now commit crimes and they won’t be able to DNA my hair... Nah I have bad luck in general so I shouldn’t push it. So for now I will stay a law bidding Citizen.
Well anyways let me tell you my Hair Experience. So as you know I got hair extensions.... Again.... yaaaa Me... A couple of weeks later I was back at the shop for maintenance. (Wow sounds like I was taking my car in for a check up rather than just getting my hair done) As I sat in the chair as people in the mall walked by getting my hair done an Older woman came in. She was wearing a toque and was looking at all the wigs in the small shop. I watched her since I had nothing better to do while she asked about this wig and that wig. Each time looking nervous and scared, scare of what? I had no idea. After about 10 mins., she told the guy who was doing my hair that she would be back ,she was going to get her hair shaved off. SHAVED OFF... OMG... I thought... Did she not know that she didn’t have to shave off all her hair to wear a wig? I mean she did have short hair as it was from what I could see from what was sticking out from under her toque, but hey, each to their own as the saying goes.

After she left the guy who was doing my hair said quietly that she had the big C. The big C!! OMG she had Cancer. Well to me the big C means Cancer, at least which that is how everyone says Cancer when they really do not want to say Cancer out loud, in case that by just saying it would mean your next in line to get it. Like someone is just walking around with a bag of Cancer and if they hear you say it they pull out the cancer and hand it to you...like playing tag and your it.... We as any human who has any sort of conscience I said “OMG, that poor woman” and immediately felt bad and guilty. Guilt? What really did I have to feel guilty about? Not like I had the Cancer bag and handed it to her. But guilt is something strongly intertwined into my system... so yes! Guilt is what I felt.

So as I sat there drowning in my guilt the lady came back to the store. I couldn’t even look her in the eye. I felt so bad, I was afraid she could tell I felt sorry for her, like it was written on my forehead in a big black marker. People with Cancer don’t want strangers feeling sorry for them. They don’t want to be treated different. They have cancer not a third eye. I am sure even if they had a third eye and cancer they would not want anyone feeling bad for them. They have a hard enough time dealing with the drugs they may be taking, chemo, the fear that they will die from their cancer, the tests they have to go through daily, weekly or monthly. The last thing anyone wants to see is pity in the eyes of a stranger. So I sat there trying to pretend I didn’t know about her cancer from the guy who was doing my hair.

She hadn’t shaved off all her hair as she had told the guy doing my hair. From the sideways glances I was giving her I could clearly see she still had some peeking out from under her toque. But she was back in the shop looking at a few wigs. The other shop keeper asked her if she wanted to try any one. She did and after 15 mins., she had narrowed her choice down to 2 beautiful short haired wigs. I got enough courage to say “they both looked great on you”. This brought tears to her eyes... OMG!! Emotion... Now I was doomed... Strangers crying always make me uncomfortable. How do you comfort someone you don’t know? Do they want a hug? Do they even want you to see that their eyes are ready to over flow with tears? This was just great I said to myself. I was making this woman cry. What a jerk I am. So I turned my head and stared at myself in the small mirror provided as the guy doing my hair pretended to be busy fixing the extensions. The female merchant asked if the lady wanted them both. In which the lady said she could only afford one and she just couldn’t decide between the two. Guilt over whelmed me once again. I was flooded with thinking here I am sitting in the chair getting my extensions fixed because I am so damn vain and this woman who was sitting close by, was losing her hair from the chemo she had to take. A woman, who wasn’t in the shop out of vanity, wasn’t trying to make herself beautiful because our society says woman should look great all the time and spend thousands of dollars for vanity. She also wasn’t there because she wanted to be. She was there because she had cancer and the cancer was taking away her hair. She could only afford one wig. One wig that if she decided one morning she wanted to do something different she couldn’t because as we all know Wigs are one style per wig.

At this point I had an idea... Yes, anyone who knows me sometimes it is best if I don't get ideas casue they tend to be the wrong ideas, but this idea was the best I had at the moment. So I went for it. The guy who was doing my hair was done and it was time for me to pay. As he was putting away his supplied I walked over to the lady and said which wig do you like the best. She again stated she liked them both. I told her them to pick one that was the higher price cause it would be free for her today. At first she didn’t seem to understand what I was saying. After a few seconds she completely understood what I meant and tears started to form in her eyes and she tried to protest. But I told her that it was Almost Christmas and no one should be sad at a Christmas and if she wanted both wigs then she would have both wigs. She grabbed my arm and pulled me towards her to hug me. Tears in my eyes started to form and I knew I had to get out of there before we both stood there crying like newborn babies. I gave her a quick hug and as I started to pull away she said “I don’t even know your name” I said “it doesn’t matter who I am” in reply she said “please what is your name.” After what seemed like eternity I said “Melanie” and pulled myself out of her embrace and walked over to the register where my hair guy was standing. I told him to put the price of the more expensive wig on my bill. He looked at me like I was crazy. Maybe I was but the guilt, not the feeling of being sorry for her, was stronger than anything I had felt in a long time.

Now do not think for one minute that lady was making me feel guilty. I was making myself feel that way all alone. This woman wasn’t asking for charity from strangers. This woman wasn’t asking for anything but her cancer to be cured and her own natural hair to stay where it was. She was dealing with something all woman are afraid of Cancer and the loss of her hair. To a woman the hair is the most important thing people will see. We go to great lengths to make sure our hair looks great. Women spend thousands of dollars on their hair a year. I know some woman that refuse to go to the doctor’s without fixing their hair beforehand. To lose it was and is traumatic for most woman in our society. This particular woman was not given a decision it was happening to her without consent. So yes, Guilt made me do something in which others would say was a nice thing. Being completely honest I did what I did to eliminate the guilt I was feeling. I didn’t do it for her but for me. Selfish? Maybe so but isn’t anything nice done because one feels pangs of guilt? Doesn’t one give to the Salvation Army’s Christmas fund at malls and shopping centers because somewhere deep inside they feel guilty for all the people who are homeless, abused, or just so the less fortunate families can enjoy a meal too. Do we not give to the less fortunate because we feel guilty that they are not as successful as we are? Somewhere inside by giving we feel better for it. It absolves us from guilt most of the times. If they are honest they will say yes.

I paid the bill and walked out as fast as my legs could carry me before the tears in my eyes that threatened to over flow, dumped their load and brought my soul to its knees. It was Christmas and everyone deserved to be happy even if it was for a brief moment. It is now February 2009 and I still think of that lady in the shop and hope with all that is in me that she survived her Cancer. I hope she had a wonderful Christmas. I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas.









"...I won't let it happen. I won't... I won't let this world exist without me!"