with tear filled eyes........

Eyes are swollen and not another drop of tears are left at this time.

Glenn and I took our 13 year old cat to the vet 2 weeks ago (the vet had been our vet for the last few years) and she said he had chronic sinusitis so Weasel had been on meds for the last 2 weeks for that. Believing her till Thursday when weasel and I went back to the vets because he was just not getting better. I told the vet that something needed to be done because he was not getting better at all. I couldn't afford to keep doing the thyroid tests she suggested because it was draining us dry. I also reminded her that both her and her assistant said that the test for the thyroid that kept coming back was not really an issue since he was sick and that the test usually came back slightly high when a cat was sick anyways. Although she still wanted me to keep doing the tests in which I said we could get it done after he was better so we could get an accurate result back. I just wanted her to focus on the new blood panel of blood work, the white blood cell count test, the urine sample test and possibly new meds she. went off saying "Who told you I was ripping you off". I was like "I never said you were ripping me off I said however that these tests every 2 days in the last 2 weeks were getting expensive and I couldn't keep affording it especially when the thyroid test really isn't an issue with his nose and the results were always the same in the end anyways”.

The thyroid test kept coming back as slightly elevated but both her and her assistant keep telling me that it meant nothing just that he was sick and as long as he was sick they couldn't count on the fact that they were accurate. So I wanted them to stop taking the test and just deal with the sinusitis issue that they told me he had since it had been 2 weeks and he was getting worse. They kept poking and prodding him.. He was shaved in small different locations all overall his body and had large bruises from all the blood work and meds he had been giving and taking in the last 2 weeks.
In my opinion it was unfair to him as well as my pocket book, especially when nothing was working. So needless to say she got mad and told me I should get a second opinion. Meaning she was no longer going to deal with me and weasel anymore and we should get out. I packed him up in his carrier and said fine I will get a real vet and she was a fucking bitch for doing this to us because I wouldn't pay for another thyroid test that day. Even though I was going to be paying for a new full blood panel test, a urine test, an office visit, different meds, as well as any new meds they wanted to give him in the office, another $300.00 in their pocket but I could not keep squeezing out 60.00 every 2 days for the thyroid that kept coming back slightly high. Been there done that and nothing had changed.

So when i got home Thursday afternoon I was spitting fire over what happened and started to call other vets. I need to get weasel medical treatment asap. I found one that had an opening Friday at 9:30 am. I was relieved that my other vet hadn’t ruined it so I couldn’t find medical attention for weasel before the following week, since appointments are hard to find when we need a vet right away. Well needless to say that night I got bladder infection so at 3 am while trying to deal with it myself by drinking a 3.78 litre jug of cranberry juice, I texted Glenn to ask him if he would take weasel in for me, thinking it was only a visit to get more blood work done and stronger meds. He agreed the next morning and came home from work and picked weasel up and off to the appointment they both went. Instead of the blood work and new tests the new vet took one look at him and told Glenn she was 95% sure it was cancer. She said she would run the test in her clinic and it would take about 10 mins., longest 10 mins of Glenn’s life. At this time I tried to get a hold of Glenn on his cell but he wasn't answering me. Why was he not answering me? I began to panic. The vet ran a test in her office and came back and said yes for sure it was feline Leukemia cancer.
Glenn called me and told me he hadn’t wanted to call before he was sure and if he had of talked to me he would have only told me what the vet said without any proof yet. I was shocked he went in for what we had been told was chronic sinusitis and now had cancer. How do we go from that to this in only 2 hours? Glenn asked her how he could have gotten it since he was an inside cat, he ate expensively good food, had his shots yearly, he was fixed and blood work done regularly. He even had his teeth cleaned and such a year ago at a cost of $900.00 bucks to help prolong his life. She said it's a gene that either stays dormant for life but can activate itself if it chooses and it was no one’s fault.

She gave Glenn really only one option. We could have him on chemo therapy but at his age she was again 95% certain he would not survive that treatment, she said if he was younger the odds were better but he was in cat years 68 and human 13 and the cancer was spreading fast in his body. She said he would die from the chemo and cancer battling it out before the chemo could even start to take effect. The cancer was spreading faster then she had ever seen it spread. She said that the other vet should have had the same exact test results since we had done a full and mini blood work panel 2 weeks ago and she also confirmed that the thyroid test would be elevated since he was so sick and doing it over and over would not have changed the results at all with him being sick like he was.

Glenn was so mad and yet so hurt after he was told all this. The vet said we could bring weasel home over the weekend to say our good bye’s and bring him in Monday to have him put down if we wanted to. We couldn't handle that since neither Glenn nor I would have ever gone back to have him put down if we brought him home one last time. We would have convinced ourselves that he would have gotten better and in the end he would have suffered more than he already did. So we made the decision that we would not let him suffer anymore and have them do it that day (Friday).

I didn't go to the vet’s cause I knew I could not handle it emotionally, I would have wanted to grab our cat and run out of the clinic and so Glenn stayed with him alone. While weasel purred and face rubbed Glenn for the last time, Glenn told him how much we all loved him, thanked him for being part of our family for so many years and he promised that the pain would stop, then weasel went to eternal sleep, while in the arms of Glenn. At home the kids were called home from school and when they arrived they were told what had happened. It was an afternoon of tears and memories, swollen eyes and aching hearts for all of us. Our home feels one soul empty now and even our other cats’s sensed the sadness and have been gathering around to offer comfort and support but even with 5 other cats which we love dearly the pain of losing Weasel has been heart breaking. It will take time but I know we will work through it and find peace, where anger and hurt now reside.

Some look at pets as property, in our house our pets are our family members, they are our children, our brothers and sisters, our hearts. So when one of our hearts dies it's as if all our hearts die. So it may seem silly to some but to us it's a great lose.

We are now one less strong but time heals all wounds they say, I know in time our hurt will subside and we can just be grateful and honoured that our beloved weasel now is in complete peace without pain. He will forever be missed and loved. A painting I had done of Glenn and weasel for our anniversary a few years ago hangs above our bed as a memory of love. He will always be with us if not in body but soul.
So tonight and every night give your family pet member a hug and tell them you love them, because tomorrow might be too late. One more day with Weasel healthy and happy will never happen again but our memories of him will always be around.

Thank you all for your kind wishes and posts on face book. You all are wonderful friends and At times I don’t feel I deserve you all but I am glad you believe I do. Love you all and thank you again










"...I won't let it happen. I won't... I won't let this world exist without me!"